Ego

I sit here in the middle of a computer meltdown. As a mac user, I am not very used to this problem, (in 10 years of mac usage- this has never happened to me) but I downloaded a corrupt printer driver today and my computer is now deleting itself (!). I am typing this post as I back up what is left in preparation for a disk repair. Dang, I needed my computer tonight too!

It really is funny how we get when we have computer problems. It can get as ugly as road rage, though I have mostly learned to go to "that Zen place" when confronted with both traffic and computer slowdowns.

So while I wait for the back up, I thought that I would chatter away here about how ego can get in the way of everything.

I was thinking today about Rob's garbage cans. There are two of them, sitting at the door of his studio. One marked "ego" and the other marked "performance anxiety". Both are supposed to be deposited before approaching the easel. Rob Howard is a great teacher and a great painter too. His instruction to remove ego and performance anxiety from the studio is great advice*.

Easier said than done.

If we let it, our ego can really get in the way. How can we grow if we are busy protecting ourself from failure. How can we grow if we fool ourselves that we know it all? And if we are not growing, are we really artists? I'm just asking.

I am not suggesting that I am able to deposit my ego every time, but it helps a lot when I can do it. And the paintings that are created with an ego on the brush are always ugly.

* Actually, all of Rob's art advice is good advice.